Posted 21 hours ago
Posted 2 days ago

Will You Get Married?

Posted 4 days ago
Hmmm… maybe this is why I’m single… HAHAHAHA!!

Hmmm… maybe this is why I’m single… HAHAHAHA!!

Posted 6 days ago
Posted 1 week ago

Beware My Heart

Beware my heart
You’re getting in too deep
Take care, my heart
This is a bit too steep

Don’t listen to the lilt
Of his lovely laughter
For you will cry for it
Forever after

Beware my heart
Of violins in the night
When he is near
They’re loaded with dynamite

And you can never finish a dream
You weren’t meant to start
Beware, take care my heart
Beware, my heart

Posted 1 week ago

Black Roses

Now you only bring me black roses,
and they crumble into dust when they’re held.
Now you only bring me black roses,
under your spell.

I, lay low, lay low and watch the bridges burn.
I, lay low, lay low, what more could I have done?

And I’m done trying to be the one picking up the broken pieces.
And I’m done trying to be the one who says I love you dear but I’m leaving.

Now you only bring me black roses and they crumble into dust when they’re held.

Now you only bring me black roses but I’m not under your spell.

I’m not under your spell.
Posted 1 week ago
Posted 2 weeks ago

Object Relations Theory

Have you ever heard of “object relations theory”? Object relations therapists believe that we choose our partners based on the unconscious process of projective identification. This is just a fancy way of saying that if you don’t feel comfortable with parts of yourself, you “disown” this part and pick a partner who represents that part of you. For instance, if you are shy and self-conscious you will be drawn to someone outgoing. If you are overly responsible, you will pick someone who is laid-back and mellow. If you tend to fret over spending money, you will pick someone who is self-indulgent. If you are afraid of your aggression, you will be attracted to someone who has no problem being assertive. Finding a partner who represents and expresses the part of yourself you feel uncomfortable about protects you from having to deal with it.

This is what I do. I am attracted to men with qualities unlike my own. They aren’t complete opposites by any means, but they aren’t like me.

The messy part of this process is that the very traits that attract you have the potential to irritate you. The partner that initially looked confident can appear brash and smug. The assertive person turns out to be a bully. The laid-back partner eventually strikes you as impulsive and irresponsible. Suddenly, the very qualities you admired have become the source of relationship conflict. Each partner points to the other person’s behavior as the cause of conflict, creating a pattern of friction and blame. The fact is, we chose each other for complicated reasons and without realizing it, create patterns in our relationships that are embedded in our individual problems.

I’m seeing a guy who is very different than myself. I hope (if it works out) I don’t fall into negative patterns.

Posted 2 weeks ago
Posted 2 weeks ago
Very True

Very True