Posted 10 hours ago
Posted 2 days ago

If Disney Princes Were Real

Posted 4 days ago

Thoughts Going Through Your Head While Giving A Blow Job…

You want a blow job. Message received. No need to push me. Now you get two more minutes of TORTURE via makeout. Okay, jay-kay, I’m going…reluctantly.

No, it’s cool. I didn’t really want to have an orgasm tonight anyway.

Focus. You’re a champion. You can do this. Breathe through your nose.

How does one look sexy while putting a weird foreign object into one’s mouth?

Seriously FOCUS. There is a task at hand, here…at mouth. I’m too funny for blow jobs. Got better things to be doing with my mouth.

Who invented the blow job anyway? What a weird thing to do. Here’s this external organ that releases urine and potential future children. Put it in your mouth.

How long have I been doing this? It’s like time moves more slowly down here.

HAND OFF MY HEAD! You really don’t want to piss off the person whose teeth are in a close proximity to your penis, asshole.

My jaw hurts.

This is the only time I’ve ever wished his penis was smaller.

*Fifteen second hand job interlude.*

Did I put my laundry in the dryer?

If you don’t remove your hand from my head, I will bite your dick clean off.

Can’t. Breathe.

Is that an indication that I’m bad at this? Shit. He doesn’t like it. I give the worst head in the world. If you don’t like it, I PROMISE it would have been fine to just have sex with me.

Is he looking at me? Should I wave? No, don’t wave. Stop looking at me. I don’t work well under pressure.

You know what’s fun, and not at all unnecessary and disgusting? Pre-cum.

I’m so bored. I’ve been at this for like ten years, and there’s not much to look at besides a pelvis being thrusted toward my face. #TheViewFromHere

Hahahaha! Look at his toes curl! I am a GODDESS!

That’s right, buddy. I own you right now.

No warning?!?!?!?!?! What are you some kind of stone age savage???

Posted 6 days ago

What Women Think About Sex vs. The Reality

Posted 1 week ago

3rd Date vs. 30th Date

We all know this well…

Posted 1 week ago
Posted 1 week ago

This Is How To Tell If A Woman Is Down To Have Sex With You

Posted 2 weeks ago

I feel like this might be my future sometimes…

Posted 2 weeks ago

Pillow Talk Proven: Morning Sex Is Good For Your Health And Will Improve Your Day

Posted 2 weeks ago
You cannot pray for a celestial marriage and live a telestial life. You cannot pray for something and act less.
Tad R. Callister (via grandviziertothesultanofagrabah)

(Source: theworthofsouls)